Dear Kids…or rather…Dear Shoe Manufacturers,
Please consider creating a line of ‘mom shoes’. These shoes should be fashionable, of course, and also allow me to do the following:
1) Kneel & squat for no less than ten minutes while I put on my children’s socks, shoes, jackets, and (most likely) their shoes again.
2) Stand for hours while rocking from foot to foot holding an 8-16 lb infant.
3) Walk slowly and hunched over while holding the hands of a 1 year-old learning to walk.
4) Run in sprints after a 2 year-old who doesn’t know where the heck he is running to, but just likes the feeling of running.
5) Lunge side to side to create a human baby gate between a precocious 1 year-old and the unguarded dangerous thing at someone’s un-kid-proofed house.
They will need to be rain-proof, juice-proof, spit-proof, urine-proof, and vomit proof. They will need to be able to go in to the washing machine with the rest of the items covered in those liquids. They need to feel great when I put them on at O-God:30 in the morning and they need to feel great when I take them off at Past-Bedtime O’Clock. And, for God’s sake, they need to cost less than a week of daycare.
If you can do all that – well, you might just make a buck or two.