Dear Kids – False Start

Dear Kids,

You know what’s fun? Getting out of the door with children. When Daddy and I were young and childless it went something like this:

Daddy: Do you want to go somewhere?
Me: Sure, let me get my jacket.
Time elapsed: 1 minute.

Now, it goes something like this:

Daddy: Do you want to go somewhere?
Me: Sure, let me get my jacket, the kids jackets, and start shoeing the kids.
Daddy: Ok, I’ll get my jacket, fill some sippy cups for the kids and check the diaper bag.
Kitten: I don’t want that jacket! I want the purple jacket!
Me: If you can find it, you can wear it. Happy hunting. Buddy, get that out of your mouth and come here, please.
Buddy: Ahhhhhhhh! Runs screaming in the opposite direction.
Daddy: We’re out of wipes in the diaper bag. How do you get more wipes in this package thingy?
Me: I’ll trade you wipes for shoes.
Daddy: Nevermind, I’m good…
Kitten: Mommy, I changed my shirt all by myself!
Me: Great! But, why? And where’s your jacket? And why did you take your socks off?
Buddy: Ahhhhhhhh! Runs screaming in a different direction.
Me: Everybody that sits on the couch in 5 seconds gets a snack!
Buddy: Ahhhhhhhh! Runs screaming to the couch, Kitten close behind.
Me: Shoes first, then snack, ok?
Shoes are firmly affixed to childrens’ feet. Mommy goes to the kitchen for goldfish.
Daddy: I got the wipes! Why don’t the kids have shoes on yet?
Me: Wha??
Buddy: Ahhhhhhh! Runs screaming and shoeless for the kitchen.
Kitten: I want to wear my other shoes.
Me: Deep breath. Ok. The diaper bag is packed. We’ve got full sippy cups and snacks. Let’s just shove the jackets in the bag. You grab Buddy, I’ll grab Kitten. We’ll strap them in their seats and shoe them then. Ready? Break!
Children subdued and en route to vehicle.
Kitten: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.
Buddy: Poopoo.
Me: Looks to sky, breathes deeply. Ok, let’s go.
Children pottied and changed. Children strapped in seats and shoed. Parents in the car and ready to go!
Daddy: So, where are we going?
Time elapsed: 45 minutes

…We haven’t been on time for anything in years.

Photo Credit: simplysuperkim

Photo Credit: simplysuperkim

Categories: Kids | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Dear Kids – False Start

  1. Lol! Awesome!

  2. Mary Jones

    Hysterical, Meg. I remember those days. :0))

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