Dear Fellow Parents – What Just Happened Here?

Dear Fellow Parents,

I had an incident last night with Kitten (4). She wanted – NEEDED – a bandaid immediately for her tiny little hang nail. It was dinner and she hadn’t touched anything on her plate. I knew this was avoidance. I told her we could get a bandaid – which she obviously needed to keep the finger on – after dinner. Tears…5 minutes worth. I didn’t want to back down, but I couldn’t take the drama anymore either – it was such a stupid battle of wills. I made a bargain: a bite of dinner for a bandaid. Now, was that good parenting, lazy parenting, or bad parenting? Did I give in? Or make a legitimate compromise?

20130427_104325

Advertisements
Categories: Kids, Kitten | Tags: , , , | 9 Comments

Post navigation

9 thoughts on “Dear Fellow Parents – What Just Happened Here?

  1. Mary Jones

    Meg, it sounds like you had one tired, hungry, and frustrated little girl on your hands. She “wasn’t in her right mind.” I think you did the right thing for the moment. Each circumstance is different and you, being Kitten’s mom, knew you both couldn’t keep this up and the circumstances were not high risk, so to speak. Compromise is often the best option when morals are not on the line. Good parenting is my vote.

    • When you put it like that I feel a lot better. I may have to make a poster of your line “Compromise is often the best option when morals are not on the line” – sounds like words to live by 😉 Thanks!

  2. If she ended up eating, you made a great compromise. Sometimes the battle is not worth it! That does not make you lazy!

    • Thanks! I don’t want her to think she can pull the crying crap and always get her way, so I just couldn’t tell if I was folding or parenting. I guess time will tell, eh?

  3. I find I have to take a breath before giving an answer for a question like “can I have a band-aid”. If I don’t, its a quick “no” and then I’m stuck in the same predicament. I find that a compromise is often the best way around it at that point. You show you can be flexible and help your kid problem solve to get something accomplished for each of you.

    • Thanks, Nick! You’re right, my quick ‘no’ really backed me in to a corner. Compromise is good – I just hope my kids see it as a compromise and not a ‘got one over on Mom’.

  4. I suspect the compromisers are right. Still, I’m a fighter and when I’m in a corner, there’s no way in h-e-double hockey sticks I’m backing down. Not my best quality, lol. You probably did just fine. Even if you got it wrong (and really, how wrong could it have been??) you are allowed a significant number of parenting mistakes before your kids are irrevocably screwed up. Don’t sweat it. 🙂

    • I may put that on a t-shirt: “You are allowed a significant number of parenting mistakes before your kids are irrevocably screwed up.” And then give it to all the parents I know – especially the new ones. It’s ridiculously comforting. Thanks!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: