There’s nothing like moving to inspire you to throw away everything you own.
Seriously, why do we have so much crap?? And why do you two keep insisting that the crap I just put in a box is the most interesting crap you’ve ever seen and you must play with it NOW?
Our new house – you know, the one we just moved all that crap in to – isn’t actually finished yet. It is full of bare studs and lots of shiny tools. Buddy, you have seen a real hammer and now puny toy hammers will no longer do. You march around the house with a tool – hammer, screw driver, pliers, whatever – and yell “Bam! Bam! Bam!” Usually while bam, bam, bamming on something. Daddy can’t find any of his tools now.
I never knew moving with children would be so hard. You can’t help pack, you can’t move boxes, and you want to be constantly entertained during the whole process.
Me: Ok, you guys go play because Mommy and Daddy have some packing to do.
Kitten: Ok, but Mommy look at this!
Me: In a second sweetie, I have to fill this box.
Kitten: Ok, but Mommy watch me!
Me: Just for a minute and then I have to get back to packing.
Kitten: Ok, but I’m thirsty.
Me: I’ll get you some juice, but then you need to play over there so I can pack, ok?
Kitten: Ok, but can we watch a show?
Me: Sure, you can watch a show.
Kitten: And have a snack?
Me: I’ll bring you some crackers, but then you need to let us pack, ok?
Kitten: Ok, but can you help me use the potty first?
Me: Yes, let’s go to the potty. Don’t forget to wash your hands.
Kitten: Ok, but I need new underpants. I think I had an accident.
Me: Go change your underpants while I finish packing this box.
Kitten: Ok, but can we feed the fish?
Me: Sweetheart, we feed the fish at bedtime, you know that. Go downstairs and watch your show now.
Kitten: Ok, but the show’s over. Can you start a new one?
Me: Ok. Here’s a new show.
Kitten: Thanks, Mommy. Can we have lunch?
Me: Lunch? What? What time is it? How did that happen?? Why is this box empty??
We’re not moving again until you both have big, burly friends who will work for pizza.