There is a line in “So I Married An Ax Murderer” where the father taunts his son with a huge head describing it as Sputnik-like, “Spherical, yet quite pointy in parts.” This was brought to mind many-a-time during your adjustment to being on two legs. You fell. A lot. You ran in to things. Many times.
Sometimes it was downright hilarious. Again?? Sometimes it was terribly frustrating – just stop hitting your head!
You have a big head. You lead with it. It gets in the way sometimes.
You had so many bruises and lumps on your head that I thought for sure someone would call Child Protective Services on us. I was nervous on doctor’s visits with you. But, no one batted an eye, thank goodness. Apparently, you aren’t the only clumsy kid in the world.
The first time we got a call from the school alerting us that you had bumped your head, the woman sounded so concerned on the phone that I laughed out loud; Guffawed right in to the phone. After recovering myself I explained that, no, I was not the demented, heartless mother my reaction might have indicated. I was simply so relieved that you were getting injured on their watch too. It wasn’t just me!
We were now all on the same team; the “Keep Buddy’s Head in a Roundish Shape” Team. They limited their phone calls to the really serious bumps and assigned a teacher to help you through doorways without running in to them – it was that bad, Buddy. Daddy and I ran you around outside and inside and tried to work on your balance. We seriously considered a helmet.
Eventually, your balance got better…or your grew in to your head. Who knows. You don’t hit your head as much anymore and when you do you don’t make a big deal out of it. That’s either a good thing or I shouldn’t expect high SAT scores from you. Only time will tell.
Thank you to Adventures in Babyknitting for the inspiration with her post, “The Principal and the Pee”.