Yesterday was a snow day. I was texting with your Aunt Bethie (in a different town and not snowed in) while you two and the puppy systematically destroyed a set of Lincoln logs. Bethie texted me her work number and told me to call her up since things were slow.
The phone rang and after a garbled introduction (I was in the basement with low reception), I said hello. Buddy immediately grabbed for the telephone.
Me: Ok, Buddy wants to say hi. (set to speaker phone)
Buddy: I Buddy!
Aunt Bethie: Well, hello Buddy!
Buddy: Dat Kitten! Dat Mommy! Dat Puppy! I pway wit bwocks!
Me: (taking phone back) Fabulous. Good job, Buddy. We’re all hunkered down over here. Kitten is building with the Lincoln logs, Puppy is eating the Lincoln logs and Buddy is throwing the Lincoln logs. Another typical day here.
Aunt Bethie: <laughs>
Me: Lord, I just cleaned up this place! Mom was here and I actually got a chance to clean up. She was really not feeling well, but I’m so glad she came over. She’s got a pretty bad cold, poor thing. Anyway…hello?
The line disconnected – dang basement reception! I called back.
Aunt Bethie: Such and such professional location (changed to protect the innocent), how can I help you?
Me: Oh, so that’s what your professional voice sounds like! Very nice, very nice. Where did I leave off? Hey, do you have a cold or something? You don’t sound like yourself.
Random secretary that is very much NOT Aunt Bethie: Ma’am, is there someone you are trying to reach?
NOT Bethie: Ma’am?
Me: Oh. Well. Then you probably don’t have a cold, do you? I mean, you probably sound like you, which is to say not my sister, only maybe if my sister had a cold you would…sound like her…that is…I’mterriblysorryImusthavethewrongnumberthankyouverymuchgoodbye!
I text my sister: There is going to be a funny story going around about some nut who called and put her kids on the phone.
No immediate response. She is probably typing away at her computer blissfully unaware that I have even called at all, let alone made a giant fool of myself.
I call her up (on her cellphone this time): So…that wasn’t your direct line, then?
ACTUAL Aunt Bethie: What? No, the secretary answers it, why?
Me: Just, maybe you don’t want to tell anyone you work with the names of your niece and nephew. Ever.
Me: Because I called that number and let Buddy chat and then went on and on about the level of cleanliness in my basement and our mother’s health only to be disconnected, call back, and insinuate that she sounded like an ill version of my sister.
Bethie: …you didn’t.
Bethie and Me: <ten minutes of laughter and recapping of every piece of the conversation>
Bethie: You won’t ever live this down – you know that, right?
Me: Oh, and I can NEVER call you at work again.
Bethie: Fair enough.
If you enjoyed this little slice of embarrassment, you might also enjoy: Can I Help You, Miss? and Step Aside, Rookie – Embarrassing Moments Like a Pro