@#$&! Sweetgum Balls!!

Dear @#$&! Sweetgum Trees,

Stop it!!! Your little offspring are driving me nuts!

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I step on them, trip over them, and kick them up. They roll around my patio year round and spit out of the lawnmower at alarming speed and distance. I rake, and rake, and rake them. There does not seem to be a season exempt from their persistent presence. And when I look up to confirm that – surely – all of them have fallen by now? Hundreds more.

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I am flying the white flag. Have mercy! Or, if you insist in taking maniacal pleasure in our futile efforts to contain the fruits of your…fruiting, know this: the reckoning is coming! I’ve got a chainsaw and a Youtube video on how to neuter you – I am not afraid to use either of them!

[insert slightly unstable cackle]

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Categories: Kids | Tags: , , , , | 7 Comments

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7 thoughts on “@#$&! Sweetgum Balls!!

  1. Sarah Wincovich

    Not sure why you haven’t brought the kids in on this. Get them gardening gloves and a pail each. Make it a game of who can get the most of the gum balls. It may not last but a few minutes, but a few minutes a time or two a week can add up with those nasty little things. 🙂 Good Luck!

    • We’ve done that too – there are just too many of them. Mom came over and we raked for HOURS. We filled a large trashcan, 5 black trashbags, and burned a solid 10 buckets full of them…that was only about half the yard. The next weekend there were just as many again. We have three of these trees. 😛

  2. Tree neutering? You have to follow up on THAT one.

    • Ya, that sounded like a good option to me until I found out you need about 25 bottles of hormone per tree, you drill it in to the bottom of the tree, and you have to do it every year within a 1-2 week window. And even then, it may only reduce – not stop – the balls. So, now we’re looking in to ball collectors. I’ll keep you posted 😉

  3. The ball collecting gadgets are called: Bag-a-Nut and Nut Wizard …I just…they’re just…”dead-on-balls” accurate.

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