Our family must love Urgent Care, because we made use of their services twice in three days this week. Once for me because I’m too
lazy picky busy to find a primary care doctor and once for Buddy because it was Sunday and his doctor has a life.
My visit was fairly straight forward:
Me (direct quote): I feel like I’ve been punched in the sinuses.
Doctor (paraphrase): Congratulations! You have a sinus infection with a nice ear infection to boot. I’ll trade you one large co-pay for this prescription of antibiotics sent magically to the pharmacy of your choice where you will buy 26 items you didn’t need while killing the ten minutes it takes to fill it. Have a nice day!
Buddy’s visit was a little more interesting:
Doctor: Buddy DeBoe?
Me: That’s us!
Doctor: Good Morning! Who is our patient today?
Me: Ha! …oh, you’re serious? Because you just called his…nevermind. It’s him. Buddy is the patient.
Doctor: Hi Buddy! Oh dear, you’ve got quite a rash there, is that why you’re here today?
Me: His eczema? No, that’s a whole other bag of worms. We’re here for…
Doctor: I see. Then I guess we’re looking at whatever’s under that bandaid on your nose, huh, Buddy?
Me: Oh, no, that’s just a fashion statement. We’re here for…
Doctor: Ok, then…
Me: How about I just tell you?? I think he’s got an ear infection. He keeps complaining that his ear hurts and he woke up at O’God thirty last night with a fever. He’s got a cough and a runny nose.
Doctor: Let’s take a look. (Looks) Yup, it’s red in there. How’s his appetite and attitude?
Me: His appetite’s been ok, but a little low…
Buddy: Mommy, I hungry! I eat this? (attempts to open a found bag of trail mix)
Me: He’s been a little lethargic…
Buddy: (scales patient table) Mommy, catch me! (jumps)
Me: (Oof!) He’s been a little clingy too…
Buddy: Let me down! Let me down!
Me: Is contradiction a symptom?
Me: Soooo…antibiotics then?
Doctor: I’ll just send it over to your pharmacy – I trust you can think of 26 things you still need there?
Me: Yes, I believe they sell wine.
Doctor: Have a nice day!
How about that, Buddy? We’re prescription buddies! I’ll meet you in the kitchen for our next dose 😉