Ready for some TMI? Last week you fell on the playground. You got a scrape on your knee and another on your elbow. No big deal.
Only…the scrape on your elbow didn’t heal quite right. It scabbed over just like your knee, but your knee is now healed and your elbow is…gross. It’s splotchy with some sort of red rash-like bumps. The original scrape was small – less than a dime. The current situation covers the entire elbow – more than a half-dollar.
I thought at first it was eczema – it crops up in weird places on you. So, I slathered some hydrocortisone on you and called it a day.
The next day you had these clear blisters…really tall ones. Being the type of person that just has to see for myself, I got up really close and touched one of the blisters…which then popped and sprayed me in the face. My mouth to be precise.
While your father laughed, I ran to the bathroom and smeared soap straight from the bottle on to my lips. I contemplated the need to vomit. I’m still contemplating it.
I have now washed my lips raw and smell permanently of the mouthwash I’ve been gargling at every opportunity. I am unclean.
Your father may still be laughing.
I have medical confirmation from a highly trained and certified nurse practitioner that I am not going to die…or contract the plague…or even get sick unless I think about it too much. Just the same, I think I’ll go rinse again…
P.S. – Buddy, you’re fine too. Just a dirty boy who needs to keep his dang scraped-up elbow out of his art projects…and lunches…and the sand box.