Have Tissue, Will Extract

Dear Kids,

Apropos of nothing…let’s talk about spa facials.

The last time I got a facial at a lovely spa establishment, I casually asked the 24 year-old, flawless-skinned technician why she was extracting (fancy for popping) my zits when I was told not to do that by multiple dermotologists.

Her reply: “Well, you really shouldn’t. I’m trained in this.”

Oh really? “What do you do that is so different from what I would do?”

“Well I have clean hands and I’m using this tissue.”

Swear to God, that was all the girl had. Clean hands and a tissue.

I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but I have soap and tissues at my house too. Am I really paying for your good hygiene and possession of a Kleenex?? Next time I’ll put my money in to a foot rub and an extra box of Puffs Plus, thank you very much.


She followed that up by telling me that I had nice skin for someone ‘my age’. Can you feel the bristling?

After establishing that I was only 10 years her senior and hardly in ‘for your age’ territory, I said, “Word to the wise; If you want to keep getting tips, I wouldn’t use that line again.” Cue 2 minutes of stuttering and back pedaling.

The remainder of our time together was awkwardly but gratefully silent.

Definitely a foot rub next time. I bet I have great feet for someone “my age.”

Categories: Kids | Tags: , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Have Tissue, Will Extract

  1. April

    lol omg! She has lost her mind saying that to you! some people need to think before they speak! Massage next time, no facial lol!

  2. You do look good for your age, I bet your grandkids tell you all the time…
    What did she do after you kicked her in the face?

  3. I was just thinking of scheduling a facial – first one in like 5 years – for a treat for myself. I think now I’ll save my money for something like toilet paper or cod liver oil.

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