Last night you read to me from your new library book: Kitten to Cat. It was all about the life cycle of cats and “sooooo cuuuute!” Apparently.
We came to the part where the kitten becomes a cat and the book declared, “and now the cat can have kittens of its own.”
Uh oh. Your little logical brain started cranking away. Hey, we have a cat and he’s over a year old, so…
“Can Mikey have kittens? I wants lots of kittens!” You said enthusiastically.
“Well, Mikey is a boy kitten, honey.”
“We can get a girl cat and they can get married and have kittens! So. Many. Kittens!!” I cannot describe to you how – even if it were possible for our neutered cat to spawn progeny – this is so very much not happening. Become a crazy cat lady on your own time.
“Sorry, sweetheart, but Mikey can’t have kittens. He’s neutered.”
“That’s ok. The girl cat can have the kittens.” Oh goodness. I’m going to have to explain this, aren’t I?
“That’s true; girl cats do have the kittens, but they need the boy cat to help make the kittens. Um…Ok, you know how you look a little bit like me and a little bit like Daddy? That’s because you’re made from a little bit of my DNA and a little bit of Daddy’s DNA. Girls have eggs right here (poke, poke at our abdomens) and boys have sperm. You need both to make a baby or a kitten. Mikey was neutered, so he doesn’t have his sperm anymore to help make a kitten.” Please, please, please do not ask any follow-up questions…
“Oh. … So, can we get a new kitten anyway?”
First sex talk in the books. Boom.