Seven years ago today was your due date. The date I stared down for nine months and then flew by. The date that was my knee-jerk reply the first year of your life when folks asked me when you were born.
I guess a due date doesn’t hold much importance once your child is born. But, for nine months it was the biggest day of my life; after December 4th everything would change. A big ‘D-Day’ circled in red on the calendar. After that, I would be a Mom.
But then…nothing happened.
Not on the 4th. Not on the 5th. Not on the 6th. By the 7th I was beginning to suspect that pregnancy was going to be my permanent condition. I was done. D.O.N.E. Everything hurt, all the time. I was never comfortable. My heartburn could have killed a horse. Those are just the complaints that are polite to mention.
There’s something kind of cruel about a due date. It’s unrealistic. The ‘due date window’ is actually quite large; anywhere from your 37th to your 42nd week of pregnancy. Picking a date in that 5 week window is like playing roulette; the odds are horrible. But we do it anyway, because we need something to hang on to. A light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is just painted on the wall.
So, really I shouldn’t have been so surprised that you were late. Except…they kept telling me you’d be early. I walked around for a month 3-4” dilated. You were head down and ‘engaged’ for longer than that. The nurses were sure I’d deliver before Thanksgiving. When that didn’t happen, my midwife made me promise I wouldn’t go into labor on Thanksgiving Day. I was surely about to pop.
And then it was December. No one thought I’d still be pregnant in December. And then I left my due date behind and I thought, “What the hell, people?? Why am I still pregnant?”
But now I get it. You like to be the boss. And perhaps, knowing that you would have control over very little in the next few years, you took this opportunity to exercise your will while you could. And arrived in your own sweet time. 4 days “late” and right on your time.
P.S. – Since then you have been on-time a precious few times in your seven years. Some habits die hard…