A Bug Up My Butt

Dear Kids,

…A literal bug. Between my butt cheeks.

Not a metaphorical annoyance, but a very real, disgusting annoyance. That expression has a face now…and it’s my butt.

I was sitting outside with my Mom on one of our unusually beautiful December days lately, when I suddenly felt like a leaf or a stray hair had made its way in to my underpants. Upon inspection in the privacy of the restroom, it was…a bug. A ½” gnat-like thing.

I almost threw up.

I can never un-feel that feeling!! The fluttering…the horrible fluttering. The knowledge that an insect has violated the sanctity of my under garments.

The scariest moment in my life was when I was trapped (read: frozen in fear) in the basement as a child with about 2 dozen spider crickets, intent on using me as a springboard.

I don’t like bugs to touch me. But now they have. They so very much have.

Send bleach.

image

Advertisements
Categories: Kids | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Post navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: