Posts Tagged With: dance floor

How to Rock a Wedding in 4 Easy Steps: Advice From a 5 yr-old Pro

Dear All 5 year-old Wedding Attendees,

How to rock a wedding in 4 easy steps (Advice from Buddy – A Pro):

1. Stick your face in the centerpieces. If you’re lucky they will have candy in them. Jordan almonds, personalized M&Ms, little heart confections…chances are, there is candy in there; purple, sticky rockcandy sticks in the case of our sample wedding. When you reappear with sticky purple all over your cheeks, deny everything! “What?? Uh…I think it’s boogers.”

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Always check the centerpieces! See? Candy!

2. Touch the cake. I mean, how could you not?? It’s just sitting there on that table in the corner at face-height, looking delicious. I dare you not to touch it. When you are caught with your icing-covered finger(s) in your mouth, deny everything! “I don’t remember anything! It wasn’t me! It was the cake’s fault!”

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It's just you and me...

3. Make an impression. I mean a burned-in-to-their-retinas kind of impression. My go-to is inviting (forcing?) wedding guests to watch me pee – I’m really, really good at it. Mom likes to close the bathroom door on me, but if she’s talking on the other side of the door, I gotta know what’s going on right? So, I like to open the door again while I do my thing. Did I maybe pee a little outside of the bowl to perform that door-opening maneuver? Maybe. Did my mom have to clean half the bathroom after I was done? Probably. Did the mother-of-the-bride get a ticket to the Buddy Show? Definitely. And really, isn’t that what counts?

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4. Dance, baby, dance! Remember that rock candy? Ya, get some of that. Hop yourself up on all the un-guarded sugar you can find. This is your time to shine! Is that dance floor wet? One word: Slip-n-slide. Outdoor wedding? I’m sure you can find some mud somewhere. Really challenge yourself, here. Remember, your parents are trying to socialize and appear normal, so capitalize on their distraction.

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I'm going for formal sanitation worker...kind of shabby chic.

 

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This is MY dance floor!

That should make just about any wedding experience pretty epic. Remember, Don’t let the shenanigans come to you – you go find the shenanigans!

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More rock candy!!

Enjoy!
Buddy

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Categories: Buddy, Kids | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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