My mother sneezes in threes. It’s bizarre and uncanny, but reliable. You don’t offer her a sneeze-related salutation before the third sneeze – it’s just prudent to wait it out.
I sneeze no less than three at a time. I have never in my recollection ever sneezed just once. It’s usually in the neighborhood of 6-12. My record is over 30 in one sitting – I was driving at the time. It was…exciting.
I’m not sure if sneezing can be genetic, but I’d like to make the case that it is.
When your father and I brought you home from the hospital, we took you around the house and introduced you to your new domain. In response you let out a barrage of little baby sneezes – one right after the other.
We just laughed. “Well,” your father said, “at least we know we brought home the right kid. He is definitely yours!”
Definitely. And Gesundheit.
This is a follow-up post to 23andMe. Back in December Daddy and I spit in to little tubes and sent our DNA into the great unknown for analysis. 6-8 weeks later the results are in! Here is the good, bad, and the bizarre of what my DNA told me:
– No elevated risk of pancreatic cancer (Yay!)
– No elevated risk of melanoma (Super yay! My grandfather died of this)
– No elevated risk for Glaucoma (I guess I’ll have to think of another way to get my medicinal pot – harhar)
– I am genetically inclined to be taller than average (Me Amazon!)
– Elevated risk of…FRECKLES! (Duh.)
– Reduced risk of atrial fibrilation
– Reduced risk of alzheimer’s (WooHoo!)
– Reduced risk of Depression (Shiny, happy people everywhere!)
– Increased production of HDL (The good cholesterol)
– Both your father and I are Duffy-positive. This means we are malaria resistant (and since both of us are, so are you two. You’re welcome.)
– Your father also found out that he is naturally resistant to not only malaria, but tuberculosis, pneumonia, and strep (Lucky dog…)
– Significant risk of breast cancer (Guess I need to keep an eye on the ol’ girls. Daddy said he’d help, isn’t that nice?)
– Risk of age-related macular degeneration (Boo. More carrots for me.)
– Significant risk of developing Type 2 Diabetes (Super boo. Whatever, I’m still eating that box of Hot Tamales I just bought)
– Risk of developing crohn’s disease (Joy.)
– Caffeine sensitivity (Legit.)
– I have lower levels of vitamin D (I knew it. The sun hates me.)
(Background: From all of my genealogy research I can confirm that I cam significantly German, English, and Irish. Possibly a skosh Swiss. So, you’ll understand why the following was surprising)
– I am 0.1% Mongolian (What the what?)
– I am 0.1% North African (BET, here I come!)
– I am 4.9% Ashkenazi Jew (This just validates how much I use ‘Oy’.)
– I have poor short term memory (Seriously – there were three genes pointing to this! I think I need a t-shirt that says ‘hi!’ on the front and ‘I don’t remember you’ on the back.)
– I have good long term memory (…but I will remember you in detail ten years from now.)
– I am 7x less likely to respond to certain antidepressants (Well then, it’s a good thing I’m not genetically prone to depression!)
– I have a gene that says I have increased creativity (Who was looking for that??)
– I am a red-head carrier (Duh.)
– I am genetically inclined to NOT learn from my mistakes the first time (Your father is having a good time with this one.)
– I am genetically inclined to have less empathy (I would argue with this, but who cares…)
– There is a gene called the worrier/warrior gene. It’s similar to the flight/fight response. I am a ‘worrier’/flight. Your father is a warrior/fight. (Not one of my prouder genetic moments, but there it is.)
– I am genetically inclined to birth large babies (Great. It was my fault after all.)
– I have better body odor than average (it should be noted that this information was provided with the words: you should still use deodorant. I can’t decide if the program is being a smart ass or providing a public service.)
So, that’s it! I’ve also been using the program to track down some relatives and attempt to solve a family mystery. I’ll let you know if we make any headroom on that. Until then, it’s all fun and games until someone finds out they stink – on the genetic level.