Posts Tagged With: maturity

Who’s The Boss?

Dear Kids,

The other day in the car, Buddy was trying to bait Kitten, which is usually a very easy thing to do, being the delicate flower that she is (read: emotional with a hair-trigger crying reflex). Buddy was blowing raspberries and the like with shockingly little results. Finally Buddy says, “I mad at you! You go to your room!”

To which Kitten responded – in a surprisingly mature manner – “Buddy, you are not the boss of me. I am the boss of me. I am in control of my own body. I control myself and I do not hit people or say mean things. If I knock over my juice, that is my responsibility. If someone bothers me, I just ignore them. You are the boss of you. Control yourself, Buddy.”

Well, someone’s been paying attention in class! Way to go my little mini service announcement!

I was having a little proud parent moment, when Buddy looked Kitten right in her mature, controlled face and…growled. A nice long, low, animal growl.

Kitten lost it. Just collapsed in a puddled of inconsolable tears.

So much for control.

I tried to coach her along. “You are your own boss, Sweetie! You are in control of your own emotions!” Meanwhile Buddy continued to growl, resplendent in his success, and Kitten called for Buddy to not be allowed to speak…ever again.

And then the children learned that – I – am the boss of them. And the boss wants QUIET.

Categories: Kids | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

Proud Mama Day

Dear Kitten,

Last Sunday was one of those days that I don’t want to forget. It was not a terribly significant day, no milestones were met, no celebrations had; it was by all accounts a normal Sunday. But it was also pretty wonderful.

Here are the highlights:

1. At the Kmart where I took you and your brother to shop for a present for your cousin you weren’t just on your best behavior…actually, you were pretty much on your typical, “Can I have that?” “What are you going to get me?” behavior. What was great was that every time I said “no” or “that’s too expensive”, you didn’t give me one ounce of lip, pout, or complaint. You said, “Ok, Mommy. Maybe when it’s on sale.” Be still my heart!

2. On our way back out to a different store (still on the hunt for a present), you asked me to go back while I was channel surfing on the radio. “Mommy, the song with the guitars!” It was Jessica by the Allman Brothers. “I like this song, Mommy! It’s from your show.” It’s the theme song for Top Gear; a show Daddy and I love to watch. “That show makes you and Daddy laugh! I like that show!” An appreciation for classic rock? That’s my girl!

3. We went on a hike. We don’t go on many hikes, so this was a total parental crap shoot. We walked along a really nice creek armed with changes of clothes just in case. We didn’t know how our not-risk-taking-fearful-of-water-and-new-things little girl was going to react to so much outdoors, nature, and water…

Creek_Kitten 2   Creek_Kitten Buddy

In short – you rocked it! You had an adventure!! You fell in water, scrapped your knees, got rocks in your shoes and HAD FUN! All without a single complaint or whine. Each time you just brushed yourself off and continued scrambling over the rocks like a little mountain goal. Also – it should be noted – you did it in pearls 😉

4. Here’s where you really blew me away. That night, at bedtime, you discovered you were out of both underwear and pajamas (your laundry being in the washing machine at the time – d’oh!). Previously this would have been a total meltdown: “Mommy!! ::sob:: There’s ::hiccup:: no underwear!! I can’t ::gulp:: I can’t ::sob:: I can’t wear anything! How could you do this to me??” …seriously. I’m so not exaggerating here. We’ve been working on curbing the drama and using words to ask for what you need instead of getting emotional which helps no one and just frustrates your parents…a LOT.

Here’s what we got on this particular night:

Kitten: Mom ::deep breath:: I don’t have any underwear.

Me: Ok, sweetie. I’m sorry about that, but your laundry is all in the washer right now. You can wear some of this smaller stuff or go commando tonight, ok?

Kitten: I’ll ::deep breath:: I’ll wear the small stuff, please.

Me: You can change it first thing in the morning, ok? Your laundry will be ready then.

Kitten: Mom, I ::eyes watering up, struggling to contain:: Mom, there’s no pajamas. Mom. Pajamas ::deep breath::

Me: Ok, well here, these are a little big, but they’ll get us through tonight, ok?

Kitten: Ok ::big sigh::

It should be noted that you carried a deep look of concern on your face throughout this conversation. Once you were dressed you stood in front of me, visibly disappointed, but not an emotional wreck. You’d held it together! I was so proud of you! So I told you so. You beamed 🙂  You were proud of yourself too.

That night, I kissed you goodnight and recapped the day; spending time with you, your adventure, your mature handling of a “crisis”.

“I loved watching you today – you were amazing! Thank you for today. You are pretty awesome, sweetheart.”

Creek_Kitten

 

Categories: Kids, Kitten | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

Dear Kids – You Are Responsible For Your Own Happiness

Dear Kids,

I just read this line on another blog by Second Time Dad, “…with the goal of eventually taking responsibility, as an adult, for his/her own happiness and success” (read the whole thing here: A Nugget of Wisdom in the Stip Order). I think this is the perfect definition of maturity. When you can truly say that you are responsible for your own happiness and success, you will be a mature, happy human being. It’s what every parent wants for their kids.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? It’s not. Many full grown adults can’t claim they have this yet.

Human beings are social creatures. We depend on each other for survival and comfort – that’s natural. Other people will make you happy, sad, angry – and, that’s natural too. But, in the end, your happiness with your life is your own responsibility. Don’t try to pin all your woes on somebody else – you have choices.

If someone is making you miserable, remove yourself. If nothing is going your way, count the blessings you already have. If you can’t shake that cloud over your head, find help.

In the words of Mother Teresa:

“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.”

No matter what your life brings, kids, be responsible for your own happiness anyway.

Categories: Kids | Tags: , , , | 4 Comments

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