Posts Tagged With: pee

The Mother of Invention

Dear Buddy,

Having never been or raised a boy before, I was surprised by a few of the…mechanics of male toileting. Namely the devil that is that large gap in between the toilet bowl and the seat.

Buddy, you can now sit or stand as you choose, but it is sometimes necessary for a boy to sit. On these occasions, when you pee it shoots straight through the aforementioned gap and covers the unlucky bathroom floor with a veritable lake of urine.

I seriously thought the toilet bowl had sprung a giant leak the first time I witnessed this. I just stood there screaming, “what’s happening?? How is this happening??” Until your father walked up, nodded and said, “yup, that’ll happen.”

What?? Ew!!

There is obviously a large flaw in toilet design that has gone unchecked since the invention of the toilet seat. Since necessity is the mother of invention, I give you…the pee guard toilet retrofit:



It’s stupid simple (like all my DIY). It is a piece of plastic cut from a milk jug and super glued to the inside of the seat. It is low enough not to scratch sensitive bums and does not interfere with uppy-downy seat action. It’s brilliant and it totally works! Woo hoo for not having to sop up anymore pee!

UPDATE: Ya, that lasted less than 48 hours. Buddy pulled it off while standing to pee and the guard was just hanging there, apparently begging to be played with. My husband took a stab at the situation and simply pulled off the front two cushion thingys on the bottom of the seat, which effectively eliminated the gap. It totally works…for a whole week now. Touché, male counterpart…you win this round…

Categories: Buddy, DIY, Kids | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

Dear Puppy – Accident Prone

Dear Puppy,

I’m sorry that I’m constantly yelling at you. It’s just that I’m convinced you’re constantly trying to pee on the floor. It’s making us both neurotic. And probably making you pee on the floor.

You didn't...did you??

You didn’t…did you??


Categories: Kids, Puppy | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Dear Kids – The Wise Bladder

Dear kids,

This will happen to you in the future: you’re ready to get in the car, but you kind of have to pee. Do you hold it until you get to your destination or do you delay your departure and go now?

Every time I find myself with this choice I remember a friend of mine, who very well may recognize herself in this post, but who I will never personally ‘out’.

She found herself pregnant, stuck in traffic, and having to pee. Immediately. With her husband at the wheel, her small son in the back seat, and no end to the traffic in sight, she did what she had to do. She grabbed the diaper bag, pulled out a diaper, dropped trou, and peed. Blessed relief.

So, when I find myself at such a crossroads, I ask myself if the few minutes I would save are really worth it. And if I don’t have the diaper bag with me, it’s a given; the wise bladder uses the toilet at hand.

Categories: Kids | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

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